You know those gyms – like the one in “Dodgeball” – where you have to work out before you go work out? The ones where everyone wears really cute workout clothes, has all their makeup on, and barely breaks a sweat for fear of looking or smelling anything less than impeccable? (I’m referring to the women, obviously – it’s not THAT kind of gym). I love those gyms. I know – weird, right? But I do. I love the fancy machines and the saunas and the hot tubs and the beautiful people (oooh, those yummy guys) that go there. It’s motivating! Why would I want to work out next to a girl wearing fabulous clothes and looking fantastic while I have a baggy t-shirt on and a beet red face? Granted, I don’t cop out on my workouts – I push myself pretty damn hard and I make sure that I work up a really good sweat, but there’s a social aspect at those gyms that’s so inviting. It’s infectious. I want to be friends with everyone there (though they don’t seem to share the same wish – maybe there’s something to that smelling impeccable thing).
I joined one of those gyms about a month ago, after I bought a day pass to workout with a friend. I was hooked. I bought my membership from an extremely good looking, young (coincidence? um, nope) membership salesman who is now my boyfriend (unbeknownst to him). Having a model-type sell memberships is brilliant – very few things besides that will increase the membership sales, especially by women. Hell, they probably have some hot girl to sell memberships to the guys – it’s just good business sense (so to speak)! Adding to his looks, he was nice, funny, and engaging and, well, it’s no wonder his job is to coerce people into buying a membership. He totally knew how to play it up. He was flirty, sweet, and made me laugh, and I totally fell for it. Wouldn’t you? Flattery will get a guy far with me. I fully admit that his demeanour was a deciding factor in my choice to join, and I’m perfectly fine with that. If I said it didn’t play a part, something would be wrong. I mean, I’m a 22 year old female, come on now.
On my first venture into my new gym, I was greeted by my new boyfriend, and luckily I had kept my makeup on from work that day – like I said, you gotta look good (though it doesn’t look so good when it’s running down my face from the sweat – again with the positives of not sweating)! I was there by myself that day, and I decided to do some cardio. Five minutes later, I was off the treadmill and searching for something else to do – I get bored easily, apparently. I thought squats would be a great workout – I wanted to build some more muscle in my lower body to make my butt look awesome in my new yoga pants bought especially for this gym. I walked over to the squat rack to see it in use by one of the metal heads that doesn’t even squat properly. Amateur.
That’s one thing I don’t like about these gyms – a lot of the people there don’t know how to workout properly. Brother Bella, a Certified CrossFit trainer, has drilled it into my head that a workout must always be done properly, and that if I can’t use a higher weight because it hinders my form, then I’m not ready for it. Something those guys should learn!
The weight area of this gym is rather tiny, and I can’t say that it smelled particularly fantastic. I’m pretty sure that my face gave my disdain for the smell away, and with the snotty look I had on my face (I call it my you-can’t-judge-me-because-I-look-like-I’m-judging-you look) I think people just figured that I’m a huge bitch. Woopsy.
As I stood at the weights, looking around and staring at the guy using the squat rack in the hope that I could make him move with my mind, I decided that I should probably do SOMEthing to avoid looking even more like an idiot than I already did. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do because I didn’t pick out a workout before hand, so I went back to the tried and true workouts of CrossFit, a circuit based training program that is made up of the most intense workouts I’ve ever done. I decided to do a workout that I came up with myself, but that incorporates some of the CrossFit exercises: 21-15-9 of deadlifts at 135 lbs and push press at 55 lbs (I’m thinking about calling it the Bella, so I’ll have a pole move AND a CrossFit workout named after me). So much for wanting to seem feminine and pretty – I’m fairly certain that I could deadlift more than some of the guys there. Attractive, right? I have no doubt that all the guys there were thinking, “oh yeah, look at her, she’s stronger than I am and her arms may be bigger than mine, too – she is SO hot”. That’s right, boys – if you want to be emasculated by a 22 year old, I’m the one you need to see! ;-)
Stay tuned for more posts detailing my adventures at the gym – I’m sure I’ll have plenty that will be based around the situations that my friend and I get ourselves into. For a little preview, she and I reverted back to children and took turns on the water slide at the gym’s pool. As we scrambled out of the pool to go down a second time (woowee! but seriously, it was awesome), a man walked into the pool area to hear her exclaim, “me first, me first!” and I, in turn, shriek back with “ok ok ok!” There wasn’t any way to make ourselves seem cool after that. But really, what fun is being cool? If I was cool, I wouldn’t have nearly as much fun as I do now making an ass of myself on a regular basis, usually in public places. It’s just how I do.
Love,
Bella
funny dwight
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