If I hear the "Apple Tree" Analogy One. More. Time...

I think that this may be more of a rant than a post, but I hear that it is good to change things up a bit. Not to mention this is my first blog post about anything to do with dating. I hope that there are others out there who can relate to this, or at least feel similar to me in the situation. I know Bella and I banter back and fourth on a continual basis about this!

The daunting question that I am asked more than I feel necessary is, “Do you have a boyfriend?” and, my favourite, never failing, follow-up, “But WHY?!” It’s actually ridiculously annoying, as Bella would agree, mainly because we don’t know exactly “why.” Sure, families have to tell you that you’re too independent, educated, and all of that fancy stuff. But, wouldn’t that exactly be the reason why you wouldn’t be single? Alas, after saying that, you are often suffocated by the dreaded “apple tree analogy”; where noone wants to spend the time to pick the “good apples” from the top of the tree, and instead go for the easier apples on the bottom. It gets VERY annoying and old after you hear it about ten times per month.

Another one of my favourite parts in the entire conversation is that often people don’t believe that I’m single. Take, for instance, my recent trip to Connecticut. While out on a dinner with the show promoter, he asked if I had a boyfriend, and when I responded the obvious “no” he looked at Momma Heidi, as if I was lying right to his face. Sad, but oh so true. It wasn’t until I told him that I was going to a wedding alone that he actually believed me, and I think that he still in doubt.

It’s situations like these that I always think about my bestie, Bella, for I know she goes through the exact same thing on a constant basis. I feel somewhat normal, or what Bella and I consider “normal,” only because I know there is someone else who has to experience the same thing as I. Then again, we have found ourselves to be similar in other odd things that other people probably deem as unusual and quirky.

I just tend to stick with the “I don’t know” aspect of it because I don’t feel like bringing up the history that seems to haunt my dating life. What I have found, or experienced, is that it seems more of a game to people than anything else. I’m not one to openly admit feelings or emotions that I may have for another person unless I’m absolutely certain there is something on the other side of the fence. I’m not bold enough to pursue anyone, let alone talk about what or how I feel. It seems like once they crack that barrier, that they find out that I do have feelings for them, that that’s the end of it. Game over. Within the week, IM’s, text messages, and random Facebook messages disintegrate and everything ceases to be seen again.

It’s not until I hop onto Facebook a little while later that new notifications come up that __________ is now in a relationship with _________. Or, even better, that doesn’t happen and then they try talking to me a while down the road after, I assume, the supposed “relationship” went sour. They try to act like nothing happened, and that I had been oblivious to the apparently drop of communication. It’s pretty obvious when someone enters into a relationship, and I’ve pretty much become pro at being able to decipher the signs. Not like I should be talking like that’s a good thing, because I’d personally rather not have the experience to be able to tell before it happens.

If I may be so bold to say, between Bella’s and my own personal life, we could make a pretty tragic sequel to one of our favourite films, “He’s Just Not That Into You.” Watch out Hollywood, here we come!

Ciao,
Heidi