Let me begin my stating that I love my family to death. They're really into working out and eating healthy, which is fantastic on most levels. However, on some levels, the constant deliberating over what is healthy to eat and what isn't, how many calories and carbohydrates one should consume, and the best way for women to lose fat and lean out is tiring and, at times, discouraging (mostly because I want to hear that I can have a steady diet of chocolate and not gain a pound).
Brother Bella has always been into fitness and eating well and his physique shows it. He trains incredibly hard himself, and he also trains others in order to get them in tip-top shape. I think Brother Bella's hard work and determination is fantastic and something I desperately want to emulate, but I always wonder if people look at him and think, "How is he in such good shape and Bella is just, well, average?". I'm not saying that to pity myself, nor am I saying that I'm a whale, because I know I'm not. I work out, so I'm not a big blob of fat or anything, but I'm just pointing out an honest to God thought that runs through my mind every once in a while.
Add to the fact that Brother Bella critiques things that my parents and I sometimes eat and looks down on exercises that I do as not what he deems "the best", sometimes I want to smack him. (I know he'll read this post at some point, so Brother Bella, just to let you know, I do appreciate all the help that you give me, truly I do).
Momma Bella is also super disciplined when it comes to working out and eating well. She gets me up at 5:45 every morning to go to the gym, despite my groaning. I am so glad that she pushes me because, if she didn't, then I sure as Hell wouldn't be there that early. Momma Bella is my motivation.
However, Momma Bella is awesome at not eating at night and at maintaining a strict eating and exercise regime, whereas I fall to temptation all the time. I guess what's frustrating is that Momma Bella is in great shape while I'm the daughter that isn't. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Okay, maybe not, this is just me complaining because I'm bitter that, in order to lose weight, I basically have to eat nothing and I'm ALWAYS hungry.
Daddy Bella is really into eating healthy, as am I, but I also have a serious addiction to chocolate, and that's my downfall. What I would love is to lose great amounts of weight (or some, at least), seriously tone up, and be able to stand beside Brother Bella and Momma and Daddy Bella and be all, "Yep, this is me now. Be proud". After which I would go prance around in a bikini. Or nothing. Depends on my mood.
Okay, this post isn't really about working out or eating healthy at all. It's just me releasing the frustration that I feel with myself. Maybe this post isn't funny or chipper, but I'm sure some people can relate on some degree, and that's what I aim to provide with my posts. Something that people can relate to and agree with, maybe understand that they're not alone in their dating trials and tribulations, their sibling issues, and their struggles with weight loss.
Love,
Bella
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